The Next Step. Week Seven. The Mirror

The Next Step. On-Line Interactive Wellbeing Program

Understanding how we interact with people can be either humorous or confusing, depending on where you stand. At times, our relationships with others can become clouded when we find ourselves emotionally triggered. It is in these times where some of our biggest lessons into ourselves can be found if we allow ourselves to explore and release the causal issue.

The concept of the Mirror is SO powerful. Many love it so much the concept becomes the main framework for looking at relationships with others, while some find themselves confronted by the notion. Wherever you sit, this understanding is pivotal to building compassion within self and towards others.

As we explain in the video, the Mirror is the ability to use those around us to provide direct observation into ourselves. If we see something that irritates, frustrates or emotionally triggers us in a negative way, then we are being shown an element of ourselves that we haven’t yet integrated, or fully accepted.




Humans have a natural tendency to move from pain and suffering towards balance and harmony. This process is stifled when an identity is placed by the person onto the suffering and therefore movement is restricted. If we don’t address the source of this pain internally, it will manifest itself in the relationships we have with others. It does this to assist us see it, for it is easier to see what’s on your face when you look in the mirror.



Pick a person you have a relationship with that causes you to feel unsettled or emotionally triggered in some way.

This might have been a discussion you had with a partner, child, parent or work colleague where you felt irritated or frustrated.

Now allow yourself to answer the following questions:

  • What about this person do I not like?
  • How do you act out the same thing?


Upon answering one of two things will have happened.

  1. You’ve just had an ah ha moment and now can let it go; or
  2. You can’t see it’s relevance.


The second option will come because a number of common things. Often we don’t want to admit the issue lies within us. Admitting this will leave us with no option but to face it, and we may not be ready for that as we hold a level of attachment to it. So when you’re ready, you’ll be able to see the issue.

At times the issue being displayed is not simple. It may be displaying an issue which is of relevance, however not from the exact angle you’re currently looking at it. If this is the case have a listen to the latter story of James’ in the video about how his issue was presented by Kirsty – it wasn’t until he changed his view by 180 degrees that he saw it.

If you still struggle to gain an understanding of how the issue presents in you, then enlist the help of a trusted confidante. Ask them to help you see from an objective viewpoint.

The key to this exercise and associated experiences is not to beat ourselves up when we see what it is we’ve been doing. Self reflection can often turn towards self flagellation. This does nothing but bring more pain. So we encourage you to continue with an open and compassionate heart.



Man hugs and Big Love   

James and Kirsty